THIS REVIEW HAS SPOILERS!!!!


....Michael Bay..oh where to begin?
The Hitcher
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Island
The Amityville Horror
and then
Transformers.
I have to say, Transformers, the first one, was added to "My Favorite Films' list in 2007. I saw it in theaters, thinking it was going to be stupid as hell.. but the effects, story..just everything blew me away. I bought the DVD as soon as it came out. But, the thing is, I thought there would be no sequel. Did we need one? Then, I was searching the 09 movie list and I noticed in bright blue letters: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
Let me tell you, I was interested, then I saw the trailer, and I was E-X-C-I-T-E-D!! 8D
So, after a pretty long wait the movie released on Wed. the 24th I believe. I saw it yesturday, Thurs. the 25th.

Now, lets begin the review of the prolly most antisipated sequel of all time! TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FAL-

WTF IT SUCKED!

Jesus..I am almost ashamed to even say such words but it was almost...terrible. Let me explain its flaws and then the possitives of the movie.

Flaws:
1. Story was rushed= bad dialog, things are not planned out)
2. The guy who does Spongebob(for christ's sake) does a voice for not one robot, but two.
3. MUCH more swaring.
4. Humping EVERYWHERE.
5. Terminators..?
6. Old robots.. is that possible?
7. Steve Buscemi (I kid you notXD)
8. Sam's damn parents, ugh.
9. Bumblebee can't talk now?
10. Dialog (humans and robots)
11. Magial objects apearing out of nowhere.
12. Sam dies..but stupidly comes back.
13. Optimus Prime dies..but stupidly comes back.
14. Robots have..spit?
15. Tried to be funny ALL THE TIME.

Ok, and now the good things about the movie:
1. THE EFFECTS ARE FRIKKIN AMAZING!!!!
2. Some actually very funny moments.
3. The doggy robot.. >XP
4. Fighting, amazing.
5. Sounds, amazing.

....sadly..thats about itXD

Ok, just for you, with the flaws list, I'll go through each one, explaining a lil bit more^^

1. Story was rushed= bad dialog, things are not planned out)
See, what I mean is..there were just some parts were you'd tilt your head, in complete comfussion. One minute they're in a naval base and then, they're in Egypt...why? ...Ohhhh because theres a thingy that they have to find in order to stop a bad robot... its just a LONG story, kinda confusing. I dont wanna give too much away, you wanna know the plot, look it upXD

2. The guy who does Spongebob(for christ's sake) does a voice for not one robot, but two.

*slaps hand on forehead, shaking head* Ahhh...I dont even know the damn names of these robots..they are annoying as hell tho. With lines like: " Lets upgrade, yo!" "Well..thats because your a pussy."(ok, it was a funny line, made me laughXD) They just defete a robot and say "Yeah! We smashed that bitch!" They...just wernt needed..They were WAY to animated to be robots, they looked retarded..which I guess Bay wanted.. I donno.

3. MUCH more swaring.
Mom: "I dont wanna do SHIT!"
Steve Buscemi robot: "You bitch! Let go bitch!"
Sam: "Ok..I know your pissed!"
Ironhide: "You want a peice of me?! Bring it on bitches!"
See, swaring is ok..but if you're pretty much using a curse word in EVERY single line..its not only annoying..but it tends to just make whatever your saying stupid sounding.

4. Humping EVERYWHERE.
Jesus, two dogs hump eachother. Steve Buscemi robot humps Sam's slutty girlfriend's leg. And a robots balls dangle.. I SWARE TO GOD THIS IS TRUE! The robot has balls.. The thing is, I guess people were supposed to laugh at that bit..but my theater was silent XD

5. Terminators..?
Uh..I guess Terminators..wanted tobe in Transformers.. A robot took the form of a slutty girl wanting nothing but sex and she's all over Sam...then shows herself to be a robot..wtf? Arnt Transformers supposed...nevermind you know what I mean >.<

6. Old robots.. is that possible?
There was an old robot, a Deseptacon(sp?) but he helps Sam n junk.. aparently he had a scottish accent, a beard, a cane, and could teleport...wait what? He can teleport?! Why can ALL the robots do that?! ..And HOW can a robot age??? Its a robot >.< Its weird, Starscream showed Megatron a lil dead baby robot...but then it was never mentioned again..wtf?

7. Steve Buscemi (I kid you notXD)
Lmao, the Steve Buscemi robot..XD He was a monster truck, er..the remote controled one.. He actually was pretty funny..I like him..until he humped her leg.. -.-


8. Sam's damn parents, ugh.
Annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying...annnd annoying^^ They were in like..the WHOLE movie too..

9. Bumblebee can't talk now?
At the end of the first movie his voice chip was fixed yes? Well...I guess he cant talk in this one again, only through radio...whyyyy?

10. Dialog (humans and robots)
Read #1 and #3. Simply..bad script and dialog. I think I could write better.

11. Magial objects apearing out of nowhere.
Ok, here are examples of the 'magial objects'. Sam is talking to the old robot, and suddenly starts drawing symbols on the ground with a knife..wait, where'd he get the knife? And its a big ass knife too..who had the knife?
Then they're in Egypt, they found this special tomb and suddenly they all have flashlights. ...wait, where'd they get those?

12. Sam dies..but stupidly comes back.
Enough said.

13. Optimus Prime dies..but stupidly comes back.
He was brought back for a stupid reason. ONLY HE can defete the evil robot: The Fallen, you know.

14. Robots have..spit?
I guess...Starscream..has a drooling problem..? The drool/spit didnt even looked good, it looked like the bad cgi in the earily 90's.

15. Tried to be funny ALL THE TIME.
Every single time they talked they tried to be funny, every single sequesen they tried to be funny. Not only was it annoying but...well..it was just plain annoying.


Look, this movie had A LOT of flaws but I will say the cgi in general was absolutly AMAZING. THAT, I believe is the only thing that got this movie it's money. The thing is, I'll prolly buy it on DVD when it comes out, just for that reason alone. I mean, I did like the film, it was alright. If you wanna see the film, its worth it to see it in theaters, ONLY for the action and cig! Thats the only reason I recomend seein it in theaters. Don't spend too much money though, lol.

Hmmm star wise..
Story: 1 out of 5 stars.
Cgi/Action: 4.5 out of 5 stars.
Dialog: Ehh 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Over all?
A VERY LOW 4 out of 5 stars..maybe a 3.7 if thats possible.

Thanks for reading my review, if you made it this farXD I also saw The Proposal...omg Ryan........

Oh, it was 4 out of 5 stars. XD Sorry, day dreaming about that boy..